My name is Lindsey; life coach and dog mum and living in Singapore. I grew up in a sleepy town in the South West UK but went on to experience; 8 months of solo travel, 6 seasons in the Alps, a year in Australia and then 3 years in London before relocating to Singapore in 2017. So I would consider myself a bit of an expert when it comes to living overseas and well accustomed to the affliction of ‘itchy feet’ syndrome in search of home. This route was never planned and the journey has most definitely had its uncertainties, failures and heartbreak. But fast forwards to today and when I descend into Changi airport, I have an overwhelming sense of home. That feeling of calm and sanctuary, a place of familiarity and reassurance and somewhere I can be fully me. This is ultimately because I’e found home within myself, which I know I can carry with me wherever home may be in the future.
When did I become lost?
School was a place where I never felt good enough; not pretty enough, not funny enough, not confident enough and not popular enough. I suffered playground bullying. Not the physical kind but through name calling, teasing and being the easy target for a girl who wanted a notch on her social status. But this tougher teenage experience thickened my skin. I went into university with the strength to walk into a bar/room and not know anybody and I relocated to Australia at 26 to start a life in a city where I knew NOBODY and with no job! So school taught me independence but it also triggered my search for acceptance.
Apparently when you combine the strong independence of a young girl with the drive to find acceptance and validation…she can cover a lot of the world in her hunt! In hindsight and after all the self work I’ve done, my transient twenties make more sense. I think I was always trying to please and prove myself to an invisible authority. Look at me and; all the cool countries I’m living in, the successful corporate career I’ve got, I can ski and party for 5 months of the year and meet all these amazing new people. I was still trying to prove myself to those bullies; STILL trying to show them that I was good enough. At the time I was unaware of this driving force, I just kept moving due to feeling restless, unfulfilled and unhappy. Whatever your reason is for moving overseas, when you do the work you’ll realise if you’re also running from or avoiding something and learn how to stop and find home within yourself just like me.
What else did I lose?
School didn’t just affect my location choices. It buried my authentic self and the version of Lindsey that I portrayed. ‘Quiet and sensible’ was not a personality type that served me well in the playground. So when I left the boundaries of the UK I subconsciously transformed into ‘fun party girl’, always the last to leave, always said yes and won titles like ‘Town Drunk’ at ski season awards night. Friends would be highly entertained by my morning after stories and holiday escapades, which made me feel ‘cool’ and accepted. Party Lindsey stayed out for the majority of my twenties, this cyclical, self sabotaging behaviour that gave me my hit of validation. But it didn’t just bring validation…it also brought shame. After 3 years of ‘Thirsty Thursdays’, boozy brunches and blackout nights in London…the lure of somewhere new and to run away from myself brought me to Singapore. A clean slate, new people that didn’t know me and a quick fix over facing up to myself and doing the self work. Luckily, after only a few months into my new chapter I finally decided to stop running and to stop chasing. To try and find my authentic self again and to come home.
Finding my own path
It wasn’t just my school story that took me and my suitcase around the world for so long. The older I got, the more settled everyone around me seemed to become. Boyfriends, husbands, houses and babies were all of the things I didn’t have and only exasperated my belief I wasn’t good enough. Moving abroad and living with like minded people served as a perfect glossy filter for this ‘inadequacy’, for both myself and anyone watching my social media stories.
3 years after moving to Singapore and at 34; I’m still single, renting and childless. But the difference is I feel successful, settled and empowered to be living my authentic and purpose driven life. It doesn’t matter where I’m living in the world or where my path takes me, the fact I’ve rediscovered home within myself reassures me I am good enough!
Through my 1:1 coaching I will help YOU uncover what truly fulfils you and then show you how to achieve it. You won’t worry about what other people think or why your choices might be different. You’ll no longer believe that something must be wrong with you if you’re not following expectations. I will help show you that a relationship won’t fix all your problems and how single life can bring just as much happiness. You will discover that this missing sense of home and belonging doesn’t come from a place but from within yourself. No matter where you’re living, whether you’re single or in a relationship, you’ll feel successful and no longer compare yourself to societal expectations of progress. You’ll be celebrating milestones along the path of your own journey and towards your life of purpose and fulfilment.